Unbelievable

Rudy was supposed to come by tonight, for the first time in a week! And literally minutes before I was expecting him he sends a text: 'I have to run a couple errands and I'll have someone with me'
I respond "umm I wish you would have told me all of that sooner, who is with you?'
'Isaac'
I'm thinking who the fuck is Isaac?
I tell Rudy "Lucian is ready to eat, I was holding off so that you could do it, who is that? I'm sure you know I'm upset about this"
"You feed him; I have to run a couple of errands, why"
He really wants to know why I'm upset about this...really?

'Think how you felt when I would just show up at the dojo, it's the same thing only you’re bringing a stranger, uninvited to my home. I have to go ahead and feed Lucian he can't wait anymore and he's awake, probably be asleep by the time you get here"
"Oh anybody that you know can meet Lucian but someone that I want to meet him can't fuck that shit."
"Whatever...you know actually I'm not comfortable with this, you'll have to come another time, this is not fair of you, this is MY home, and when you decide to be truly involved then you can have a say too, you can't just spring shit on me"
"He’s my son too damn it"
"Then ACT like it!!! You've done NOTHING for him!"
"And so you know Isaac was there when he was born he has been my best support'
"That’s great, I have no idea who he is, and you cannot just invite people to MY house'
'Please change your attitude'
'Change your behavior, show me some respect...what I've been doing is NOT easy, and deserves some respect, you don't get to just pop in whenever it suits you with whomever you want'
'You have no idea what I've been doing so please let's stop before it gets worse'
'I'm sorry my mind is made, I'm not ok with this, I'm not saying you can't have people meet Lucian, you just need to give me some notice, this is still my home and I have a right to say who can be here'
'And I'm not coming over now cause of your reactions'
"haha no you’re not coming over because I told you that you couldn't, but ok'
'Damn you look at what you've been saying and truthfully tell me you're not being a bitch, don't text me'
"you’re the one missing out then, I have just finally decided to stop letting you shit on me, I'm setting up some expectations, you decide if you can meet them....I have been your doormat long enough, my patience has run out'
'I'm not shitting on you and please listen I said don't text me...oh god you're ridiculous'
'How is that?'
'right now it's were not having a conversation, I'm really upset and were not going to talk for 2 days, or at least I'm not responding'
"I’m really sorry to hear that, I wish that it surprised me that you can't talk about things, I'm very disappointed and sad for Lucian, it’s a shame'
'I can talk, but it's better to talk when calm and I'm far from calm'
"btw I was making you dinner and I got you disaronno, but you're right I'm a total bitch, thoughtless'
Ok so I might not have handled things the best, but the basic idea of what I was saying doesn’t change...and I stand by that. I'm so tired of just taking his shit and keeping my mouth shut! Enough already! Time to step up and be a father, not just a sperm donor!
He can't just invite strangers to my house and then not understanding why that upsets me...it's really not unreasonable of me. he’s been by twice in 2 weeks for about an hour and a half each time...not exactly father of the year. And it's almost always a last min thing, and then he just up and leaves all of a sudden.
Then he says that I’m being a bitch b/c I don’t' want strangers in my house when I didn't even know they were coming over until like 10 mins before hand. I'm so tired of trying to make things work with him when he won't even meet me a tenth of the way there. He's been so rude just flitting in and out whenever it suits him, acting like this is someone else's kid he's just going to visit...he's taken NO responsibility. Then he says that he's not coming over...like him coming over is doing ME a favor. ugh

I've been seeing a therapists and he has been encouraging me to set expectations and boundaries. So I’m trying to do that...I can only change myself and my behavior