Quick and Dirty -- Stephen to Rudy

Stephen and I got married right out of high school. We were married for 6 yrs and now he's gay. Well I guess he was always gay, it's just now he lives that lifestyle. We're still friends and talk often, no hard feelings, not really anything either of us could do about it. Right before things ended I miscarried and the pregnancy made Stephen realize that he had to leave.


Then I married a younger guy named Jason, who spoiled me rotten!!! Things were good until he started drinking too much and cutting himself. That I could deal with (it's not what I want, or ideal, but manageable). Well then it turned on me. He never actually hurt me but threatened to kill me with a loaded gun that I had just talked out of his mouth; a 6 inch carving knife, and a screw driver. If I had stuck around long enough to give him the chance to hurt me, I'd be dead. I have no doubts about that.

I was very fortunate to have a close friend and co-worker to turn to when all of this was going on, Rudy. His girlfriend was also struggling with suicide and he really understood what I was going through and all of the emotions involved. We worked together in a daycare in the same classroom with 15 to 20, 3-year-olds every day. You really get to know someone's character when you take care of that many kids together for just about a year (or so you'd think). With 15 3-year-olds running around stress is high to say the least! :-)
In December last year Jason hit what I thought would be rock bottom. He got arrested for public drunkenness and locked up in the drunk tank for the night to sober up. He had been running around our apartment complex causing all kinds of trouble. Pulling fire alarms so that the fire dept showed up, cussing out other residents and lecturing people on different things he had learned in Bio classes. Unfortunately, that wasn't rock bottom for Jason and he was at it again in early January. I had to leave work to come home and be sure he hadn't hurt himself, and keep him from hurting himself until he passed out.
Well this is when I realized I'd had enough. Nothing was getting better, Jason refused to get help, and I was going to end up getting hurt. I'm not a victim, and I couldn't let myself be one anymore. A few weeks later Jason moved back to West Virginia and I got my own apartment.
By the time things really started to unravel with Jason, Rudy and his girlfriend had broken up and we realized that we had more than a friendship. We started dating very shortly after things ended with Jason. We lived together and were looking to buy a house (the Denver market was crazy good!) Rudy worked at the daycare with me and he also worked 2 other jobs. He has been involved in Martial arts for 18 years and teaches kids and adults at his Dojo and also at Lifetime fitness. Also for the Dojo he helps film instructional videos (he's in them getting thrown around) and then edits them for production. He's an eagle scout, and has his 2nd degree black belt in two different forms of martial arts, Ninjutsu and Jujutsu. Although he'd never tell you that and would be embarrassed that I told you, he's very modest and private.
Since we both worked in daycare and love kids and things were going so well with us we decided to have a baby together. Everything was great until about 4 months into the pregnancy and he said he didn't want to do this anymore. I was mad and told him to get out then. He did. And now he won't even talk to me. He's been gone 3 months. So we'll see what happens in the next few months.

So now I'm working at a different daycare that accepts infants. I can bring the baby there with me every day after he's born. I'm figuring out how to do all of this on my own, and if I have to put him in daycare I'd rather it be one where I also work.